


Kitty

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cats, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Cat Kylo Ren, Cat Poe Dameron, Fluff and Crack, I wrote this instead of therapy, Implied Sexism, Internet Reviewers AU, M/M, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, Minor Shara Bey/Kes Dameron, Past Abuse by Snoke, Rated M For A Brief Mention Of Objectification of Women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:55:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29315214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Han and Leia’s cat Kylo gets a new friend when the new neighbors move in.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 1
Collections: Allbingo, Bad Day Collection, Star Wars Crack





	Kitty

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Free Space — Cat
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: So this is kind of a complicated one. Basically, I had this Internet reviewer I used to love that turned out to be kind of a shithead. And one of his cats passed away, and there was a bit of controversy that blew up around it because someone was seen as mocking the dead cat. (Which, leave the cat out of this. What the fuck)
> 
> I figured I’d start working on this as a part of working through some shit. So, here, have Ben and Poe as cats.

The cat outside the window is orange and white, with brown eyes. Kylo doesn’t know what he’s doing there even as Leia is going on in the next room about some sort of movie she got back from watching in theaters, but he’s a pretty cat, Kylo can’t help but notice. The cat meows a greeting.   
  
“Hey,” Kylo says. “What’s your name?”  
  
“I’m Poe,” says the cat. “Poe Dameron. I just moved in next door.”  
  
“Moved in?” Kylo supposes he heard the car outside, an A-Wing model. A cool car; Kylo thinks that if he only had the human gift of opposable thumbs, he would actually want one of those. He isn’t sure why cars are so human-centric. Then again, humans are weird, he finds. Humans don’t have fur, and the few bits of fur they do have, they just want to shave off. How exactly strange is that?  
  
“Poe?”  
  
Poe meows indignantly. “It’s not my fault that my owners are horror fans.”  
  
“Of course not. There’s worse. I’m Kylo. Leia says it’s Welsh, but...I think she’s just weird.”  
  
“Not at all,” Poe says. “I think it’s pretty.” Then, “You’re not bad-looking.”  
  
If Kylo had a human’s temperature, he would have blushed. Instead, he preens, at least a little. People think he’s a funny-looking cat, just because he has black fur (for some reason a sign of bad luck. Which is unfair) and oversized ears. He’s a rescue cat; his previous owner, Snoke, treated him badly. But he’s gotten used to Han and Leia over time. They’re good humans, even if they’re a bit weird.   
  
“You’re a pretty cat too,” Kylo says. “Poe.”  
  
The preening Poe indulges in is almost enough to make Kylo want to, if he was able to, laugh. He tilts his head instead.   
  
“Hey, Kylo, angel,” Leia says. “Just finished filming that review.” She sighs. “If people comment on my tits instead of the video, either I’ll kill them or Han will.”  
  
Kylo meows. Why are humans so obsessed with those sacks of meat? Humans are bizarre and stupid creatures. Of course, Han would quote that _Men in Black_ movie and say that a person is smart; people are stupid, dangerous animals. Kylo wonders if they adopted a cat because raising a miniature life form seemingly made from stupidity would be too much.   
  
Then again, Han and Leia aren’t married yet. Dating, yes, but not married. Maybe they’ll have a baby (and Kylo will learn to tolerate the baby, stupid superstition about cats stealing babies’ breath begone. That old wives’ tale seems to back up Kylo’s belief that humans are stupid creatures). Maybe they won’t. As long as they’re happy.   
  
***  
  
Shara and Kes, the neighbors, come by later. Poe is with them. Kylo meows a hello, and Poe meows back.   
  
“I see they’re getting along already,” Shara says. She’s pretty, Kylo thinks, with black hair and sun-gold skin, a contrast to Leia’s pale skin. Humans at least come in interesting variations, that Kylo knows. Shara smiles at Leia. “Your cat’s quite beautiful. What’s...his name?”  
  
“It’s a boy, yes,” Leia says. “His name’s Kylo. He’s a good boy.” She scratches behind Kylo’s ears, and Kylo purrs.  
  
Poe sniffs him, curiously, his nose twitching.   
  
“He’s quite beautiful,” Shara says. “You know, it’s funny — when I moved here, I never thought I’d meet an Internet reviewer here.”  
  
“Well, I’m flattered, but...”  
  
Kes laughs. “You could say that we put on your videos when we need a bit of a breather.”  
  
Leia does smile. “It’s an interesting business. I mean, doesn’t put food on the table, but it’s interesting to see where other films work...”  
  
“The next Roger Ebert.”  
  
Leia laughs. “I wish.”  
  
***  
  
While Leia, Han, Kes and Shara talk, Kylo and Poe play together. It’s different from playing with a human, but definitely not unpleasant.


End file.
